Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance

I'm alone most days now.

No one really asks me to do anything

And I don't really offer.

It seems that I should be doing something with this time I have. Like God has given me this season of alone time and I've not the foggiest idea what to do with it.

I told him to put me through the fire. Maybe this is the beginning.....

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

^_^ Smiles ^_^

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
-- Mother Teresa

I love smiles. Seeing a person's face light up with a smile or laughter can make my day like no other.

Smiles are like a sunrise upon a face, bathing the face in one of the purest forms of beauty.

Unless it's a creepy smile. You know the one I'm talking about. Those are just off putting

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I've read this a thousand times

I've noticed lately that I am interested in books that I have tried to read before and was bored out of my mind.
Conclusion: You have to reach a certain level of maturity to read certain books

I first noticed this when I started reading Little Women. A book whose first chapter I skipped because I had read it a thousand times all of a sudden captured my heart. I couldn't put it down. A novel that just depicts the lives of four sisters. So simple and so lovely. And I have loved the movie since I was a girl. I mean who wouldn''s Christian Laurie (one of my first loves)
But I digress....

And now I'm reading Wuthering Heights. I've read the first couple of pages more times than I can count. I vivdly remember when he made the dogs mad and they were ready to attack.
What I don't remember is how awesome this book is. It's not like anything I've ever read. The only way I can think of to describe it as of now (i'm not finished) is raw and ruggedly wonderful. Not flowerly or superflous. Just a haunting story.
And I can't WAIT to watch the movie! I love movie adaptations of classic novels, which is nice because they are very easy to come by.

And now I shall continue to read this classic piece of literature...and knit....i love multitasking!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Hope has it's reasons

“The Christian life is a thank-you from beginning to end as we ponder what God has done. What an absurdity to think that we could ever bargain with God, as if there were anything we could put on the table. Nothing we can do would ever earn his favor. Yet all is ours for free. And the cross reveals his willingness to forgive not just once, but over and over and over again. How can we repay such extravagant, generous love? We cannot and need not, and the heart’s only answer is gratitude.”
— Rebecca Pippert

Hope Has Its Reasons

Monday, December 13, 2010

Author and Perfecter

 For some reason on the way home from work my faith was shaken.
Nothing earth shattering happened.
I didn't have a breakdown.
It was a uneventful drive home.
It wasn't a big shake. It was as though I was standing completely still and a flick of the finger made me teeter on edge. 
Do I have faith? According to Paul I do. 

 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Hebrews 11: 1

Confidence in hope. Check. Assurance in the unseen. Check. 
Living out that faith.... Hesitation. 

How in the world do I live out a faith that is so monumental, so supernatural, so so SO much better than I begin to deserve?
How does one live out a faith that they aren't worthy of?
Like Jesus.

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith
Hebrews 12:2 (the context is SO much better)

Not only did Jesus write our faith, he perfected it. He wrote the very details of faith. As J.K. Rowling transports us into the world of Hogwarts, Jesus transports us into the world of faith.
The Gospels.
He lived out our faith just as we do. 
For the joy set before Him, he endured the cross -- Hebrews 12:2
He knew what was coming. He knew that he would be pierced for our transgressions just as Isaiah had prophesied. But he had confidence in what he hoped for, confidence in what he knew to be true.
I want that kind of confidence, but then I'm scared of that kind of confidence because I know what I have to go through to have it. I want to be gold refined in fire...but the fire scares me half to death. 
This is where my faith shakes.
I'm going to pray a prayer that will probably change my life forever.
I pray for the fire. 
For the joy set before me I want to endure the fire. 
Only then will I truly know if I have faith.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
Romans 15:4
This verse holds SO much
Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us. Thousands of years later the Word that was given still teaches and changes lives, still encouraging and stepping on our pride.
So often I forget that what I’m reading has infinitely more impact that I let it have. I can let God change me through His word. Millions of believers meet in secret throughout the world with only the Bible as their main source of encouragement and here I sit with a plethora of resources around me, books to read in addition to the Bible because honestly sometimes the Bible isn’t enough for me.
It should be.
I love that book. I love the One who inspired it. I love the One that is found throughout its pages even though He might not be mentioned.
I love the One whose fingerprints are on every page, in every word. I love Him.
Yet why does it seem so commonplace?
Why is my life not radically changed by it?
Why won’t I let it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

On the Radio....

"I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey maybe I wrote that" --- Stephen Wright 
My friend, Sean Giddings, was played on the radio today!! 
I mean I know he's awesome but now everyone else gets to know too!! 
I have his music here and here is where he was played on the radio
so so so excited and so proud! 
So proud to say I'm friends with this amazing musician. 

ok....done gushing

Guilty Pleasure

So....since I have to work so early on Saturday mornings I usually stay home Friday nights to rest up. Which HAPPENS to be the night my guilty pleasure comes on
 These guys are so awesome. They are basically complete dorks (and one guy who thinks he's all that) and they chase ghosts and when they encounter something the words "DUDE!" and "OMG" ring throughout the location.
  It's entirely too fun to watch
i have no clue why I love this show so much
"We decided we needed an adrenaline rush before the Lockdown...
so we decided to get in a pink boat"
 So these guys join me on my friday nights. 
And now i have friends who actually watch this show! Which is nice. 
Making fun of them with my brother and sister was getting a bit old.
So there is my guilty pleasure. The show that most don't like to admit they like. But these boys continue to amuse and entertain me.
i lurve them!

(ok! it's back on! yay!)

Thursday, September 23, 2010


"What is the glory of God? It is who God is. It is the essence of his nature, the weight of his importance, the radiance of his splendor, the demonstration of his power, and the atmosphere of his presence. God's glory is the expression of his goodness and all his other intrinsic, eternal qualities"
-- Rick Warren Purpose Driven Life
Morning Solace by plague rat on Deviant ARt
That reminded me of a verse from  a Phil Wickham song (surprise surprise) called "Beautiful"

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I don't know why....oh well. God is creative, beautiful, love, radiant, powerful, and just plain AMAZING. 
I truly love being amazed by Him each and every day.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I have mail.....from you.

"I turn on my computer. I wait patiently as it connects. I go online. My breath catches in my chest until I hear 3 little words, "You've got mail." I hear nothing, not a sound on the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart. I have mail...from you.” -- You've Got Mail

Getting mail is a lovely thing. When you get junk mail day in and day out and then one day your heart skips a beat when you see something that looks nothing like junk mail. It's a postcard! Your face wears a massive smile all the way up the stairs to read and enjoy. And in my case text the person "I GOT YOUR POSTCARD!!!!! LOVE!!!!" but that's just me 

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Love the Way You Lie

I don't like any of these songs (except Dynamite...never heard that one) BUT I LOVE this song....
oddly enough

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

You are who you are for a reason.....

This poem is exactly what I needed today

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perect unique design,
Called to God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together with the womb,
You're just what He wanted to make

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason.
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, Beloved,
Because there is a God!

Written By Russell Kelfer

Monday, August 2, 2010

And She Remains

(Wrote this after my breakup of the last boy i dated...sad thing still rings true)

And She Remains...
He picked her up
Her cover was appealing
Attractive even
She seemed interesting
Her words inviting
He began to read
Savoring her words
Dreaming of the places she took him
Escaping his world to be lost in hers
He reread passages
Marked those he loved
He carried her with him
Went to her to pass the time
Brighten his day or just bask in her words
She was loved and cherished.
He read her cover to cover
Knew everything within her binding

He put her away
She had no more secrets
Her words held no surprises
She was put on the shelf
Tucked away into a tiny corner of his life
Kept in hopes of reliving the magic
And she remains, read by one
Never being loved by another

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Happy Birthday Momma!

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. -- Graycie Harmon

Today is my mother's birthday. On this day in 1958 one of the funniest, most wonderful of women was born. I know everyone says they have the best mother in the world...and for some they do. But for me...mine is the best mother in the world. I am told countless times that I look like her and more often act like her. I wouldn't have it any other way. While most daughters are dreading to become like their mother I look forward to it, A LOT. I can think of no one I would rather be =)

Saturday, July 31, 2010

They entertain me...which is good because they're entertainers.

Of all the actors and actresses that I have stored in my rolodex of a brain. Of all the movies i've watched, the shows i've watched and the...well there's really nothing else for actors and actresses is there except for plays...i like plays but to my knowledge i've never seen these people on stage. These five people i will go see anything they're in, watch any show, and let a squeal of delight escape when i see their face
My Top 5 Actors/Actresses
(these are in no particular order...just the order that my brain thought of them)
1. Jane Lynch
This woman makes me ridiculously happy. I was surprised by her guest appearance in Psych as Chief Vick's older sister and she has continued to delight me with her surprise appearances (Best in Show and Julie and Julia)
She's has the Greg Kinnear effect on me and I love it.

2. Emma Thompson
She has captured my heart on more than one occasion but never more so than her character in Love Actually. I just wanted to hug her and tell her she is loved. She played my favorite character in Much Ado About Nothing and also was absolutely gorgeous in Sense and Sensibility (which is hard to do with Kate Winslet as a sister) I was surprised by her in Stranger than Fiction, definitely not expecting one of my favorite actresses to be in the movie. I also love that recently she has given up being glamorous in movie and portraying character like Nanny McPhee and Professor Trelawney. That is the mark of a wonderful actress

From the movie Gorgeous...i LOVE that movie
3. Jackie Chan
Do I really need to explain?? I've loved Jackie Chan since before Jackie Chan was cool. I remember as a kid watching "Who Am I?" and "Gorgeous" What ten year old loves Jackie Chan that much...i mean REALLY? I watched the cartoon and never one denounced my love of this amazing Chinaman. ---> from the movie favorite Jackie Chan movie

4. Alton Brown
yes...he's only on the food network but the guy is AMAZING.
"Brown notes that he was dissatisfied with the quality of cooking shows airing on American television, so he set out to produce his own show. In preparation, he enrolled in the New England Culinary Institute, graduating in 1997. Brown says that he was a poor science student in high school and college, but he focused on the subject to understand the underlying processes of cooking."
and that's why i love him =)

5. Greg Kinnear
this is where Greg Kinnear differs from the rest of my favorite actors/actresses. I never seek out Greg Kinnear movies. I never see a movie JUST because Greg Kinnear is in it. Greg Kinnear is always that special surprise waiting for me within a movie. And that, my friends, is the Greg Kinnear Theory. Every time Greg Kinnear shows up in a movie I always say "oh..Greg Kinnear...i LOVE Greg Kinnear!" You've Got Mail, Ghost Town, Stuck on You, and As Good As It Gets...just to name a few
Mystery Men (just thought of it) I saw that movie for William H Macy alone. Love it! Janine Gurfalo was a plus though


I'm reading a book right now where the characters are being chased by hundreds and thousands of these...
Imagine that busting into your farm and sword fighting with your dad.
(and in looking at the pure girly-ness of this blog he seems TERRIBLY out of place)

Silence in the Cage

This song has been stuck in my head for days on end. I'm not's a beautiful and wonderful song
Daisies and Sandalwood
by Steven Delopoulos

Silence in the cage
The structure persuades
But I look around to the orange bright sun
And hold up my breath
And think of the damage that's bound to become

An atone with dioxides and vomit these toxins
That's tearing these solids and giving it space
But seasons to give, she reached out in sorrow
And vanished the land
No past or tomorrow

And suddenly reeking of daisies and sandalwood
Children of peasants on bridges they stood
Look away from the fire and
This campaign of quicksand, this campaign of oil
Beating out of the land like a drum
Like a drum, like a drum

These days are infectious with fluorescent cars
And billionaires hung on the streets for the stars
And satellite projection beaming branches for the vine
In this cyber-world of dreaming, hoaxing water into wine

So, sing loud for the canyons
And soft for the parasites
And squeeze your spouses and children goodnight
And map out your futures and freeze-dry your food
And look for your reflection on a dime

Repeat Chorus

Giving you endless painted versions of your future and your past
And your busy troubled fortress will be stilled...
Upon the vast

Silence in the cage
The structure persuades me
But I look around to the orange bright sun
And hold up my breath
And think of the damage that's bound to behave

'Cause suddenly reeking of daisies and sandalwood
Children of peasants on bridges they stood
Look away from this fire
This campaign of quicksand, this campaign of oil
Beating out of the land to the One
 To the One...

If you get a chance look it up. I can't find it anywhere to put here. it's a beautiful song.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

This thing called a Ferris Wheel

My new bookmark...YAY
I'm so excited about my new's a Ferris Wheel. I love Ferris Wheels. Why?
This quote:

'When I was little, I didn’t know what the purpose of Ferris Wheel was. It’s just slow and tall. But now, I kind of understand. This thing called a Ferris wheel is here so you can peacefully sit with the person you like and traverse the sky.'

I read this quote and my mind is taken back to the characters i love in that scene. It's from an anime (yes I watched anime) called Honey and Clover. My eyes soften and well up just thinking about it. So good. The main character said this and it stayed with me. Years have passed and this quote is still with me.
And when I go on my honeymoon one thing I want to do is ride a Ferris Wheel. I've yet to ride one or even see a Ferris Wheel. But I want to share that moment with the one I not only like...but love.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark

I've decided to write about why I love to read so much. I remember learning to read very clearly. But I loved books before I could even read. I had this book that my mother read to me so many times I memorized it and though I couldn't read (I think I was about 4) I "read" that book constantly, turning the pages and spouting off the words. As the daughter of a bookworm I naturally fell into the world of books. I remember reading the Little House books, The Giver, and numerous other books. In elementary school during recess I was usually found in the library...just to be with the books. So here are just some of the reasons why books are amazing...
1. I love knowing that somewhere, sometime, someone else enjoyed this book as much as I am. I think that especially with classic literature. It's a very "whoa" moment when you think that a girl my age probably sat in her garden or in a window with her petticoats about her reading this book and enjoying it just as much. That men and women's hearts and lives were touched by these
2. One of my favorites parts of reading is turning the page. When I have a good book my fingers rest under the page just waiting to turn it. Turning the pages, revealing more the story, more of the lives, more of the's just wonderful
3. I love the way a book transports me. It's like a Scotty with a binding. I can get lost for what seems like hours in a book, yet in reality it's only been 15 or 20 minutes. To feel like you're not only in the story but a part of it..that, my friends, is the mark of a good book.
4. I love how some characters stay with me. When I read the book again it's like visiting an old friend. To once again read the book with Clayton, a character I was in love with. To live life again with Delancey and  Mackenzie. To be right there with Angel as she struggles. To be with Jonas as he discovers color, war and snow. I could go on and on...but you get what I'm talking about =)

So those are just some of the reasons I love to read. It's a part of me and I hope to never stop.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.

I read a book of the bible that I have never read before, a book that I didn't think I was mature enough to read for a very long time, but that time did come..and I read it. Song of Solomon. One of those books that never once mention God but his beauty and love is woven throughout. 
One verse I have taken to heart is the charge that the Shulammite poses to the Daughters of Jerusalem. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires (Songs 2:7). This is one of the things I know I struggle with the most and it seems to be the same struggle I see all around me. Yet what differs from me and what I see? I realize it's a struggle..not just life, not just "the game".  As I said previously I don't like dating, never have. This verse further strengthens my resolve to wait until God (who is love) is ready, until I AM READY. 

Too many times I have followed my heart, my emotions, and convinced my mind that what I was doing was right. But as I have all too clearly learned "The heart is deceitful above all things" (Jer 17:9). 
The problem is that the love lies are EVERYWHERE. In movies. In music. In books. Everyone wants to have a love like this person or that person. They want to reenact a movie, a book. I've done it. Music is the one for me. I won't lie...I've sat in my car and pretended they were singing that love song about me. I wish for Jack Black from The Holiday to have dinner with me and my old Jewish buddies and go to blockbuster. It's normal and it's poison.

"To be loved to madness-such was her great desire. Love was to her the one cordial which could drive away the eating loneliness of her days. And she seems to long for the abstraction called passionate love more than for any particular lover" Thomas Hardy "The Return of the Native"

That quote...that describes me more than I like to admit.
I hope to grow away from that. To know love as not just a feeling but a verb, an ability. 
I don't want to arouse or awaken love before it so desires. 
I don't want to.

ok so ten minutes later I decide this post needs music
I can't decide which video though, so you pick. Same song, two different yet equally awesome videos.
So you can pick. Aladdin or Jim and Pam


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Boy Crazy...

I felt the urge to write...but have no idea of what. So I'm gonna wiki Timothy really quick....
ok so interesting fact ( already
Paul circumcised Timothy personally (how awkward would that be) because even though his father was Greek his mother was a Jewish Christian.
Not the point..
For some reason this morning I felt the urge to read Timothy. I'm in the midst of the Psalms right now. I've never read them through (how weird is that). I heeded the call to read my bible, which usually comes early in the morning when I would rather sleep and usually end I'm doing so, and I thought nothing of it.
Later in the day conviction hit me like a brick in the head
(if you've seen Home Alone 2 then you know what I mean)
I think my conviction calls for a back-story.

I am not comfortable with dating. Never have been. Don't like going on the dates. I'm entirely better at being friends. And recently it has come to my attention that I'm always the rebound girl (go me.) As more pressure and blind dates come my way I'm starting to find out what the bible says about relations with the opposite sex prior to marriage. Basically seeing how I can approach this season of my life biblically.
1: Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (1 Tim 5:1b)
Treating younger men and women as brothers and sisters in Christ. Not as a potential date or boyfriend/girlfriend (which I am all too guilty of). And not just with purity but ABSOLUTE purity. I don't know what that is yet..but I am very anxious to find out.
2: Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (2 Tim 2:22-23)
First question I had when reading this...what are the evil desires of youth? For me they are lust and coveting. I covet other's relationships entirely more often than I should. I want what they have. I covet the companionship, the comfort, and the fact that they have someone to lean on. And of course I'm attracted to the opposite sex. I have small crushes and romantic interests.
What should I do? Flee.
I don't want to give in to those small crushes with hopes of the same things my friends have.
I want to trust in the Lord, hope in the Lord, wait on the Lord, and above all DELIGHT in the Lord.
That is my prayer.
Other awesome verses in Timothy
The Obvious: Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an examplee for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the piblic reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 1 Tim 4:11-13
Watch your life and doctrine closely. Perserve in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. 1Tim 4:16
and another (I picture timothy from youth group in this one lol)
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 2 Tim 3:14-15
and another favorite
Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction 2 Tim 4:2 (just love the in season and out of season...ALWAYS)
and lastly
But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry 2 Tim 4:5

That's it for tonight.
We'll see what God has in store
Kinda can't wait

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Wishing and Hoping and Thinking and Praying


To believe, desire or trust.

I noticed this morning on my way in to work that I have so much hope. Hope in God. Hope in His promises. Hope in His will for my life.

Why do I have so much hope?


I asked and He gave. I knocked and He opened the door. I sought and I found my hope in the Lord, true hope that outlasts circumstances or events. Hope and peace that not only is not expected but also transcends ALL understanding.
I pray that as life happens, as things change for the bad or for the good that my hope will maintain it's constant presence in my life.
Hope is the dream of a soul awake

Saturday, May 29, 2010

For God so loved the world...

Those words used to mean nothing to me. Growing up in church, hearing those words from a young age, made the words meaningless to me. They were just words.
 In middle school and high school I used to envy those who didn't grow up in church, who read the Bible and saw the Word of God with fresh eyes and new heart. I had the same heart I've always had and reading the Bible was just rereading the stories I've heard all of my life. I didn't truly understand just what God did, why Jesus came, and what God is doing in and around us.
We've been studying Romans 8 at church. Sadly, I haven't been there for all of it but tonight's message really hit home with me. 
If you've read my past notes you know that I am in love with Love. The songs, the gestures, the books, the thoughts, and most of all the One who IS Love. I yearn to love God more and I pray that that yearning will never go away and will only get stronger. As I learn what love is and how to put it into action I've learned to fully love my family, friends, and even those I can't barely stand. If you want to learn more about love I recommend reading "The Four Loves" by CS Lewis or "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Both will open your heart to what love truly is. 
"Some of the most profound things are simple yet hard to understand" That's exactly what God's love is. I wish there was another word I could use besides "love" It has so many meanings and for some it has so many negative connotations. 
"He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" This verse comforts me to my core. If God sent what He loved most, His only Son, to DIE for me what makes me think he wouldn't take care of me in every other area of my life? What makes me think He doesn't care?

Saturday, May 22, 2010


Kings. Leaders of kingdoms. Rulers of people. So much power in one man.

I have been reading about so many kings lately. The kings of Israel and the kings of Judah. Starting with David and going onward. They have faced so many trials. Won and lost so many battles. Were given every opportunity to turn to their God and more often than not they turned to other gods instead of the one TRUE God.


He was anointed king in secret by a prophet that Elisha had sent. After anointing him the prophet just ran out the door. Anointing a king while a king is still on the throne is...umm...treason. Probably punishable by death. When Jehu came out of the room his friends asked him about the "maniac" Jehu brushed it off nonchalantly but his friends pushed him. Once Jehu told them that he was anointed king they laid down their cloaks for his feet and celebrated. (2 Kings 9:1-13)

What I loved about Jehu was his confidence. On the day of the confrontation King Joram sent two horsemen out to see if Jehu came in peace. Jehu told both horsemen "What do you know about peace? Fall in behind me" and they did. That's a man getting stuff DONE! When asked point blank by King Joram if Jehu came in peace he replied "How can there be peace as long as all the idolarty and witchcraft of your mother Jezebel abound" Buuuuuurn. Then Jehu shot King Joram in the heart. (2 Kings 9:17-29)

"Shot through the heart and you're to blame. You give love a bad name" couldn't be helped.

And after he killed Jehu he also killed the king of Judah. Prophecy was fulfilled. And on top of all that. He killed Jezebel too. She was thrown from a window and horses trampled her. When they went out to bury her nothing was left but her skull, her feet, and her hands. Prophecy again fulfilled. "Jezebel's body will by like dung on the ground in the plot at Jezreel, so that no one wil be able to say, 'This is Jezebel' " (2 Kings 9:30-37)

Jehu reformed Israel and Judah. Servants of Baal were killed (2 Kings 10:18-27), Ashereh poles were taken down and prophecy fulfilled.

The Lord blessed Jehu but he still didn't keep the laws of God. (2 Kings 10:30-31) Jehu still rocked in my book though!

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day

Yesterday two of my closest friends vowed to love and cherish each other til death. Even sitting here I want to cry happy tears at the sight of my mind's eye. I have never seen anything so beautiful, so wonderful, and so right. For the past two years these friends have shown me what true commitment is, despite all of the odds stacked against them. And now they are getting ready to go on their honeymoon cruise and reaping all of the benefits of being "just married" and knowing Alex like I do...I KNOW he is using the "we're on our honeymoon" line like crazy. 
His face when he saw her was priceless....I don't think he was able to move for a minute or two. 
I'm just so overcome with joy and happiness that I want to spill over and just watching them glide around the room (opposite sides of course...I love how that happens at weddings) and watching them share this special day with friends and family. I know this is a day I will lock in my memory to save for a time when it seems everything is against me. I can look back on this day, smile, and know that life is wonderful

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Disturb Me

My Prayer

Disturb us Lord

Disturb us, Lord, when

We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Sir Francis Drake -1577

The Louisville Project


Tonight I'm teaching a kids class at church. Not gonna lie, I'm a bit nervous. I haven't taught small kids in years and now that my siblings are turning into young adults I'm more used to talking to kids that are in middle school instead of kindergarten. But I'm excited and hope I haven't lost the ability I once had. (I almost said touch but that could be taken SO wrong lol)
The lesson is based all around money and what you treasure.  "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (verse)
What do I treasure? Looking over my bank statements I treasure food and woot shirts. I can rationalize that though, I NEED food to sustain myself. The woot shirts? It's one shirt for 10 dollars! And once it's gone I can never get it for that price again (I never said it was a good rationalization)
I do believe that most of my treasure lies above. I won't say all of it because that would just be lying to myself and you, but most of it God has. I'm literally paying for when my treasure was myself and will be for a couple more years. I'm still learning how to use God's money and how to make my treasure Him and Him alone

"My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" Colossians 2:2-3

Saturday, February 27, 2010

When God Shows Up

I have this song stuck in my head
How He Loves Us by David Crowder Band
Just at the right time, when I'm feeling forgotten, unloved, and unimportant,  God shows up as He promised He would.
Sometimes I wonder why my problems, petty as they are, seem so important to me. I have God. I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me. I am loved by the Creator of flowers, sneezes, and coffee. That fact alone comforts me more and more as I fully realize that fact.

Thank you Abba for loving someone like me.

and just for fun...

Monday, January 4, 2010

Zacchaeus was a wee little man, and a wee little man was he.....

We don't invite Jesus in...Jesus invites US in. Just like he said to Zacchaeus. "Zacchaeus, come down for I am going to YOUR house" He invited himself and like Zacchaeus we should welcome him gladly (Luke 19:5)

Sunday, January 3, 2010


 I started the first day of reading my list of books by reading Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller. This book has already put me in my place. I have a bad habit of putting other people and things before God and I had a small battle of it today. And just like God is known to do, He made me realize it. The realization came when I read "An idol has such a controlling position in your heart that you can spend most of your passion and energy, your emotional and financial resources, on it without a second thought" How many times had I spent most of my passion and energy or emotions on people and things without giving it a second thought? I don't even think I could count all the times. But I pray that, like today, when I'm battling with idolatry that God will let me know, that He will show me one way or another.

The book recanted the tale of Abraham and Isaac and put the story into a light that I had never thought of. What would have happened if God never asked Abraham to sacrifice his son? Would he have spoiled him rotten or become over protective? Either would have been detrimental to life as we know it. Abraham is claimed as the founder of three major religions: Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. But they wouldn't be what they are today without Abraham's obedience to God and his willingness to give up his "idol".

I pray God shows me what I consider idols, that He opens my eyes and that He opens yours as well. We all deal with idolatry and we can't escape it. But God is there to help us through. If we offer our idols up to Him, He will be faithful in His promises to us.
Just as He told Abraham, we should tell Him "Now we know that you love us. For you did not withhold your son, your only son whom you love, from us" (Genesis 22:16)


I know I am just another New Year's blog but it's ok. I'm looking forward to this year. I've had this insatiable appetite for knowledge lately, reading anything and everything I can get my hands on. I've compiled a list of books for this new year. Books that have made a difference in Christianity and many that I have pilfered from some trusted pastors top 5 list (The Louisville Project) I have a terrible, TERRIBLE time finishing books. Most of the times I just flit from one book to another. But I am committed to read these books and more this year, read them from cover TO cover. I pray that as I grow and learn, Christ's light will shine through me. I want nothing more than to know Him and have others know Him. I pray my relationship with Him is strengthened, that we will be like two books whose pages are woven together. This year will be interesting and I'm more than a little excited about it. So let's BEGIN!!

Book list

  • Trellis and the vine -- Colin Marshall and Tony payne
  • Counterfeit gods -- Tim Keller
  • Pursuit of God -- A. W. Tozer
  • The Reason for God -- Tim Keller
  • The Prodigal God -- Tim Keller
  • Knowledge of the Holy -- A. W. Tozer
  • Operation World -- Patrick Johnstone
  • Desiring God -- John Piper
  • The Cost of Discipleship -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
  • Through the Gates of Splendor -- Elisabeth Elliott
  • The Myth of a Christian Religion -- Boyd
  • The Hole in Our Gospel -- Stearns
  • Jesus' Plan for a New World -- Richard Rohr
  • Blue like Jazz -- Donald Miller
  • Crazy Love -- Francis Chan
  • Forgotten God -- Francis Chan
  • The Radical Cross -- A.W Tozer
  • In His Steps -- Charles Sheldon
  • Walking With God -- John Eldredge

So that's the list for now...hopefully more will be added!!